Nothing change

I knew it would happen; it always 

People come in life and left unsaid. It hurt, but life is unsettled, and trap is always there.

Then nothing change; 

Void is there, emotions uncontrolled and I always promise to myself won’t fall for it again, never, ever.

Guards up and console myself; I am good and life goes on.

BUT

Till when: questioned remained unanswered

People came and go, leaving scars.

Nothing change.

I hate me or you..

I hate myself sometime Why? 

I weaken in front of you, it's your choice ..always your choice 
to be with me or not be with me. 
To talk Or not to talk,
To meet Or not to meet
To reply the msgs Or not!
I hate myself for being like this, waited for your msgs your call  and get nothing
Promise,

That I won't do....but again it's reapted.
There something I want to say myself...Do whatever you want, don't regret it.

hmmm....All words vanished.

Few lines for U...


I remember you,
And always do....

It's not because you are special,
I remember you,
Not because I love you,
I remember You 
because you are in me...
It's you who make me smile,
It's you listen all my cries
It's you and always you!



I remember one song in from Hindi Movie....
"Maein zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya

 Har fikar ko dhuen mein udata chala gaya"

Life is not so easy...forgetting you is also not easy...

may i can't hate you and try to not to myself...

Shattered....!!

Shattered....not broken ,

Not finding any words to say or express feelings , but Heart want it. It's aching, it don't know how to react.

It's shattered,

Not broken,

Not in pieces,

Shattered everywhere!!

Fighting with myself to remain as I am .But every second it changes.

I don't want to remember, 

tears falls and I felt my weak.

As we are yet not separated . .but living like this is more than separation. Not sharing anything, don't want tell anything. 

It's is constant battle between live and leave. sometime desperation to find you takes me far away and leaves in nowhere.

It's constant war between forgot or remember and I knew "forgot" always defeat by "remembrance".

life goes on but sometime it stuck in one place, and when we try to pull it brakes in pieces.

now struggle between gathering pieces or live in peace...without asking any question?

 "what damage occurred"

   Why it happen,

    When it will be last,

     When it won't hurt"

Hoping for best ....removing worst, collecting shattered heart, Merging in one hope.

Want to Free From Inside from all Emotions

                                                                                                                 

An Invisible Day..

An Invisible day of mine,
Hidden from me while,
I know it will exit,
Sometime in life.
I smell it presence,
I am Surrounded,
With its fragrance,
I am waiting,
with patience.
for An Invisible day,
Sooner or Later,
It will be MINE...

Sooner or later I will be mine...Waiting for it... feeling it ..A day when I am free from all loads.
A day when I feel free to fly .....
I can't describe my feeling for that INVISIBLE DAY.
It can be like spreading my hands wanna hug that day, or it will be like that standing on the top of mountain wanna a fly, ..I know it can't be like other's day...every night I saw glimpse of that day :) in my dreams.

Glancing that day,
Everyday!!
Walking ahead,
to rise in own way
Everyday!!

A day when SHE born..

A day when she Born..October 15...2003..
An angel born..My daughter.She was so soft like fairy white milky..

An angel born,

like fairy tale,

color she have,

white milky,

And,

fluffy .

That day when she born...feeling can't explain. She was my third child born after 7 years gap of second daughter..That day won't forget.... I was in great pain after delivery. I was lying on bed she was sleeping beside me and hungry .Mom (my Mother) was with me that day But she was so tired ....Because of  my delivery.

I don't want to disturb her she was sleeping in small type sofa feeling uncomfortable taking turn in every minute. So I don't want disturb her. And an angel ..I am trying to feed her but not able to feed...now there is only one choice give baby powder milk ...But how? 

I am in pain ...Don't want to disturb my mom... now what can I do for my angel ....worried and thinking to find some way..and suddenly mom wake up and asked to me ...what happen?

Mom I can't able to feed ..I explain my worry.

want boil water to make milk..I told her....

Mom said..wait I will bring and she walk away in corridor. And I am relaxed Now angel can have her milk.

Next day we are discharged...and I am with my An angel...Cute angel..

She is cute now also but little bit naughty too...

Where I Stand..

Where I stand in,
Your world,
What is my dignity?      
what is my choice?
When I ask,
You turned your Face,
When I want to choose,  
You show my place,
When I talk about our life's,
You say "you are worst",
In anger I unleash my emotion,
You don't listen...
walk away without saying word,
Now say..
Where I stand in.
your world?

Where I stand .....In women life everyone asked this question from themselves or someone else..and in return I don't think they get their answer.
Now days I am feeling same ...I don't whom to ask ..I love my family and I know they love me too..
But now I m tired of to understand everyone..listen their talks ,solving their problems.
when it my turn everyone turned their face in grimace. It make feel like that I am foolish person,
with blank face ..see all their movements ...listen how they are fade up from me, Sometime evil side of mine try to show anger.....feeling of  neglected ...wants to end life...But 
There is something stop me..make me strong..
Today I am own of my single pace,
And want to move more ahead with myself!!